Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes for Friday, July 24, 2009

TRANSCRIPT
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Thank you, Barack Obama, for the flowing jean pants you wore at the All-Star Game. They willowed gracefully in the wind like a denim eagle.

Thank you, Chris Brown, for proving that you can apologize while also looking like a chef from Star Trek Voyager.

Thank you, Taco Bell chihuahua, for your many years of faithful service as a mildly offensive Mexican stereotype.

Thank you, the word "moist", for being the worst word ever. I think I speak for all Americans when I say that we don't want you as a word anymore. God, I hate you.

Thank you, unmanned predator drone, for the 85% chance that you killed one of Osama bin Laden's 36 sons.

Thank you, online Boggle, for allowing me to match wits with other sad lonely people at 3:00 in the morning.

Thank you, Michelle Obama's new haircut, for drawing attention away from her sleevelessness.

Thank you, 1990's sitcom Family Matters, for being able to air back to back reruns where the first episode's summary is Laura looks for a prom date, and the next one is, Urkel and Carl go back in time aboard a 1700's pirate ship.