Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes From Friday, May 28, 2010

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Thank you, Bill Clinton, for being rear ended in a fender bender this week. Oh, how the tables have turned! The rear ender is the rear endee!

Thank you, Sex and the City 2, for being the office version of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".

Thank you, recent college graduates, for crowding the city to celebrate. My vomit dodging skills were getting a little rusty, so thank you.

Thank you, mini-fridges, for making me feel like Shaq whenever I grab a yogurt.

Thank you, 2-year old boy in Indonesia who smokes. I don't believe in spanking, but his parents could use an ass-whooping.

Thank you, roosters, for being nature's way of saying, "Wake up, you lazy a-holes".

Thank you, guy in the elevator who stared into my eyes as the door shut on me. I would call your name, but I don't want to jeopardize your job playing tuba for The Roots.

Thank you, beach season, for helping us identify the people completely incapable of shame.