Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes From Friday, October 1, 2010

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Thank you, Spencer Pratt, for calling off your divorce with Heidi Montag and realizing that she was made for you. Literally.

Thank you, Tiny Gourds, for somehow being an autumn home decorating home staple. Even though you look like a decorated pumpkin turd.

Thank you, First Lady of Cameroon, for looking the long lost love child of Ronald McDonald and Jakay.

Thank you, Chrysler, for firing 13 employees who were drinking at lunch. Or, as we call them at this show, writers.

Thank you, ladies who wear cute rubber boots when it rains. Who are you, the Morton salt girl? Are you five years old? No, your 45 year old, and you look like a toddler who just lost her lunch box.

Thank you, Lunch Lady Gaga, for serving me tater tots in a meat dress.

Thank you, wine cork collection. I know I never got around to making that cork board, but look how much I drink.

Thank you, my friend's cat who rubs up against me and leaves hair against me, but then runs away when I try to pet you. I've got throw pillows with more personality than you. Oh, and by the way, nice asshole.