Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes From Friday, July 23, 2010

TRANSCRIPT
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Thank you, inception, for being a movie I bet Sarah Palin thinks is about getting pregnant.

Thank you, China, for selling Pabst Blue Ribbon beer for $44 a bottle. I know we owe you like billions of dollars, so how about we send you a couple cases of crappy beer and call it even.

Thank you, J. Crew catalogs, for declaring to the world, "You too can dress like Potsie from Happy Days".

Thank you, Lifetime Achievement Awards, for being a nice way of saying, "You are about to die".

Thank you, the sound of banjos, for making me snap my fingers and wiggle my toes, and making me feel like I'm going to get violated by a toothless hillbilly.

Thank you, 2:30 in the morning, for always being the first sign that tomorrow's gonna suck.

Thank you, guy at a urinal going to shake my hand with one hand while doing his business with the other. Life is short, buddy, but it ain't that short.

Thank you, calculator watches, for allowing me to combine my three greatest passions: telling time, doing math, and dressing like a space captain.