Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes from Friday, September 18, 2009

TRANSCRIPT
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Thank you, Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, for saying that the recession is "most likely over". Nothing puts me at ease and restores my confidence like a nice firm "most likely".

Thank you, celebrity couple nicknames, for not naming the Jennifer Aniston - Gerard Butler relationship "Anis-But".

Thank you, people you may know on Facebook, for introducing me to someone that I actually don't want to know. You should be more accurately titled, "People I do know, but am avoiding".

Thank you, "Cocoon". Out of all the movies from the 80's featuring old people swimming in pools filled with alien pods, you are by far the best. Everyone knows I gots to have my Gutenberg.

Thank you, internet pop-up ads, where it's impossible to find where to click to close. Or the ones that suddenly appear and block you from clicking a link you really want to click, and disappear when you move the cursor away, but reappear when you try again. You are so awesome!

Thank you, Hungary. Hey, if you're so Hungary, why don't you invade Turkey?

Thank you, hotel minibar, for charging $7 for a mini toblaron, and thank you me for eating three of them.

Thank you, posters for "Fringe". When I see you in the corner of my eye, I think you're a poster for Pringles. Hey, for what it's worth, I'd watch a sci-fi drama called "Pringles".

Thank you, toilet cleaner 2000 flushes, for not lying when you say you last for 3000 flushes. Because the truth is, you could. It's not like I'm gonna count flushes or anything. Or am I...

Thank you, my 35th birthday tomorrow, for making my audience give me a huge applause.