Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes from Friday, September 3

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Thank you, couple riding a tandem bike, for saying, "We know we look dorky, but we're trying to save the relationship.

Thank you, fall clothes, for making everybody look like they are about to go hunting in a Jane Austen novel.

Thank you, Omelette, for being a more popular way of saying, "Egg Taco".

Thank you, colorful birthday hats, for making people look like gay wizards with really fat heads.

Thank you, knife and fork, for keeping spoon in check. He made a move on my pasta last night, but you guys were there to show him what's what.

Thank you, watches, for not being called, "clock bracelets", even though that's what really what you are.

Thank you, window air conditioners, for making me feel like people are constantly spitting on me as I walk down the street.

Thank you, Labor Day weekend, for being just like Memorial Day weekend, except people seem really sick of their kids.