Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes From Thursday, November 25

TRANSCRIPT
----------
Thank you, the kids table, for providing an isolated eating area for both kids and adults that nobody likes.

Thank you, stuffing, for always being delicious, even though you're cooked inside a turkey's butt.

Thank you, the choice between the sofa bed and the inflatable bed at my parents house, for making me choose between choosing between sleeping on poorly placed metal bars or an inflatable raft that leaks cold air until I'm sleeping on the floor.

Thank you, anyone who eats a Tofurky for Thanksgiving. A word of warning to anyone who celebrates Thanksgiving with me, if you eat a Tofurky near me, you can Tofurk yourself.

Thank you, post-Thanksgiving dinner relaxation rituals, for being the one time that Uncle Gary can unbuckle his pants and not be sent to jail.

Thank you, Gizard bag inside the turkey. If I were interested in coming face to face with a moist bag of vital organs, I'd look at the old people across the table.

Thank you, Christmas tree farms. You're the only place in the world where a man carrying an ax in one hand and a toddler in the other is considered normal.

Thank you, wishbones, for being the final f#$% you to the turkey I just devoured.