Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes From Friday, November 13, 2009

TRANSCRIPT
----------
Thank you, Hillary Clinton, for wearing the same outfit as Germany's chancellor Angela Merkle. It must have been awkward, but 83% of US Weekly readers said you rocked it harder!

Thank you, Weather Channel, for beginning to air weather-related movies. Like your action film "Barometric Pressure", or your romantic comedy, "Chance of showers". And your late night film, also called "Chance of showers".

Thank you, Country Music Awards, for giving Darius Rucker the best new artist award. He's not new, he's Hootie without the blowfish.

Thank you, Balloon Boy's parents, for admitting it's all a hoax. It's a shame, I had much more respect for you when I thought you just let your kid float away in a balloon.

Thank you, zebras, for showing me what horses would look like if I were on acid.

Thank you, person unwrapping a cough drop during a movie theater. I know you think by unwrapping it slowly, it's less offensive. It's not. I can hear every damn crinkle of that wrapper. Wait, are you rewrapping it so you can unwrap it again?

Thank you, Real Housewives, for spawning a spinoff called "House Husbands". I must say that's awful and ridiculous and when does it start?

Thank you, Lake Titicaca, for being at your lowest level since 1949. I don't care what level you're at, I'm just happy you gave me an excuse to say Titicaca.