Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes From Wednesday, March 3, 2010 - WITH BOB COSTAS

TRANSCRIPT
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Thank you, men's speedskating uniforms, for leaving nothing to the imagination. We get it, it's really cold in there.

Thank you, biathlon, for having athletes ski around with rifles. We have that in America, but we call it the NBA.

Thank you, speedskaters, for simulating what it would be like if a handcuffed guy tried to get away on rollerblades.

Thank you, Apolo Ohno, for winning an American record of most medals won in an Olympics. You are to frozen water what Michael Phelps is to liquid water. Ohno he didn't! Ohno he did!

Thank you, 1/100 of a second, for apparently being a huge crapload of time.

Thank you, Bob Costas and Cris Collinsworth, for having an endless supply of dapper tweets and pocket squares. If sharp dressing was an Olympic event, you'd wipe the floor with dickbutt.

Thank you, Olympics, for being the first televised event to top American Idol in over six years. And also, Olympics and American Idol, for featuring Ellen DeGeneres.