Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes From Friday, March 12, 2010

TRANSCRIPT
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Thank you, Carlos Slim, who was named the World's Richest Man by Forbes Magazine, for being the only billionaire in the world with the name of a pimp.

Thank you, person I'm walking behind who happens to be walking to the same place as I am, for making me feel like I'm following them. And when I say, "I'm not following you", you don't feel at ease.

Thank you, receipts from Best Buy, for being unnecessarily long. Hey, thanks for buying the 4th season of Lost, here's a whole rain forest.

Thank you, ESPN Classic, for being a really exciting channel to watch if you just came out of a coma.

Thank you, eyebrows, for being there. Because if you weren't, we'd all look pretty weird.

Thank you, adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh on the back, for being the perfect way of saying, "Look, I'm 80 years old".

Thank you, birthday card I'm writing in the car outside of a birthday party, for proving that I need to make changes to my life. Happy birthday!

Thank you, the expression "With all due respect", for reminding me that somebody is going to tell me something with absolutely zero respect.